Cracked
by notinacreepyway
Summary: And if there was anything in the world that Gwen Stacy was good at, it was predicting Peter Parker. Lots of angst. Lots and lots of it. No trigger warnings, as far as I can see.


**I'M SORRY. Forgive me?**

**Lots of angst. No obvious trigger warnings. Enjoy?**

* * *

He's not good with words. He'll admit that time and time again, mouth trying to form the words - desperately forcing them through his lips to tell them to her. _Gwen, I'm not good with words_.**  
**

They never come through.**  
**

So when he tells her that they can't see each other anymore - and they're both crying, and it's raining, and she looks at him with devotion - so much of it it almost makes his heart burst in his chest - and then she walks away - and the words that have been burning in his chest still don't escape.**  
**

He steps back inside. Shuts the door. Goes to his room. Pretends he doesn't exist.**  
**

It works, for a little while.

* * *

It begins, really - their second beginning; their continuation - in an English classroom. And he tells her that he can't keep a promise, and he doesn't see her reaction, and the rest of the hour drags on like nothing else has. And Peter Parker keeps his head down, and darts through the corridors, and Gwen doesn't try to speak with him and he knows he isn't forgiven.

* * *

Eventually - slowly, it begins to return to normal. Peter Parker is a no-body, and Gwen Stacy is a somebody, and Flash grins at Gwen every time she passes and she doesn't return the smile and it's only the nights that are different, because Peter will sit there and stare at his phone until it turns dark, and then he goes and becomes Spiderman, and Spiderman doesn't stare at cell phones wishing that a girl will call, but he does sit outside her bedroom window and listen to her breathe and wish he was just more than he is.

Then he's back at school, and he takes photos of them all - of the Debate Club, and Gwen's smiling at the camera, but it's not her smile. He wishes he could kiss her one last time just to see the little smile reserved only for him - the, _Mister Peter Parker, I think I love you more than anything _smile, but he just smiles blandly at them all and Gwen doesn't even look at him twice as he wanders out of the door.

* * *

It's almost like a game to see who'll crack first. Gwen begins to shoot him furtive glances; watching him when he's at his locker; blinking when he sits on the bleachers and does his homework. He still goes home and stares at his phone, and there is more longing in his heart than he ever thought possible, but slowly - slowly, the normal he has created becomes bearable. He is able to do it easily.

But she still watches. Waiting to see who will break first, and who will break the most violently.

(And if there was anything in the world that Gwen Stacy was good at, it was predicting Peter Parker, and one day there is a run in with and Aunt May is in hospital and he cracks so very wholly.)

* * *

He walks into school the next day, and his eyes are red, and she comes over to him, and it's barely a thought. "Peter-"

**"**Gwen, don't," he orders, and his whole body is shaking and he brushes past her, and it may be his fault that they're not talking, but it's her fault that she's wound him up to feeling like this - all this worry over her, and he wants her to know that. Rather desperately.

* * *

She finds him at lunch. He's hiding in the library, behind a book that he's not even reading, and there are thick, fat tears rolling down his cheeks, and he's only cried this much twice in his life - once over his uncle, and once over a beautiful girl he loved - _loves _- and he can't stop himself, no matter how hard he tries.

She collects him up in his arms, and strokes his hair, and for the first time in about two months, the tension drains from his body.

* * *

It's easier after that. Some nights, he walks her home, and they barely talk at all, but it's easier. For him to cope. And then one night, she turns to him. "Take me somewhere."**  
**

**"**W-where?"**  
**

**"**Anywhere."

****They swoop up to a rooftop, and they sit there, and Peter talks until his voice cracks, and in a way, he is forgiven.

* * *

They never kiss again.**  
**

Spiderman saves the city for the umpteenth time, and Gwen Stacy watches it on TV, fingernails digging into her palms with worry. And then, she squeezes the hand of a boy called Flash. And she doesn't let go of his hand.**  
**

Peter Parker doesn't have anyone, ever again.

* * *

(He never breaks his promise).


End file.
